The new year is coming! The new year is coming! Hurry! Make a list of all the things you want to do for the first time, do a little better, do more of. Set a goal to a achieve that thing… or things… that will make you happy.
Or…
Take a bit of time and relax. Happiness is a state of mind anyway. We’ve all been fooled by the “I’ll be happy when…” ideal. So, why buy in now? …again.
Difficult Addition
Often times, we find ourselves adding more things to our already packed days in an attempt to achieve some goal. We have the perception that our life will be better when we achieve it. We’re going to start exercising, cook at home more, spend more time with family / friends.
But our lives are already packed!
The thing is, your life is what you do everyday. It’s not the goals you make and achieve. And it’s certainly not the goals you make and don’t achieve. It is the things you choose to do on a daily basis.
The kicker? The amount of “happiness” you feel is directly tied to the amount you enjoy the things you do each day.
Simple Subtraction
Rather than adding more and more things to your schedule, let’s focus on doing the reverse. Subtracting in this case is often way easier and offers quicker satisfaction.
A. Change the way you view your routines and figure out a way to enjoy them.
Some things you just have to do. Most of the time, you have chosen to make them part of your life. Take a moment to reflect on why you’re doing it anyway. Once you remember the purpose again, you can focus on it while you’re doing a “must-do” thing.
B. Remove the actions, expectations, or obligations you don’t like.
And some things are just a big ol’ drain. Get rid of these things that are no longer serving you. I’ll bet if you pay enough attention, you’ve got a thing or two that you have tucked into your routine that you are doing solely out of routine. Stop. The same goes for obligations you do begrudgingly. If it’s not as easy as just stopping, take the time to make a solid exit strategy from your relationship with that thing.
C. Take some time to be grateful for the things you don’t do.
Bad behaviors are hard to break! Give yourself some credit. Did you give up soda? Did you stop cursing in front of your kids? Did you leave that horrible relationship? Awesome! Don’t forget to remind yourself that you’re already “happier” than you were.
Technically, you’re adding another task to your day by practicing gratitude. I get that. But, gratitude is super quick!
When I first get up in the morning, I take a moment to be grateful that I don’t go to a job I dislike. When I lay down each night, I take a moment to be grateful that I don’t have that “smoke before bed.”
Two seconds out of my day = two smiles every day.
Show Your Work
The answer is all in the resolutions. This year, instead of adding more and more to-dos to our life, we’re going to set NEW New Year’s resolutions. We’re going to find enjoyment in the things we do. We’re going to ditch the things that make us feel awful. And, we’re going to remind ourselves how far we’ve already come.
Just think, every time you don’t do something will be a win!
Yeah, I just got done building a Math with Dinosaurs book for a client. Sorry, it lapsed over… sort of.
“Math with Dinosaurs”? That sounds like great fun, Stu! Got a link? (Obviously not to the *new* one, but where would we look for the series?)
Happy NEW New Year to you, too!
Hey Karen!
I’ll post the link when it goes live. It’s the first in a series for younger kids.
Enjoy the New Year!
-Stu