It’s a funny thing about just going where the wind takes you:
The wind knows where you need to go.
You’ll often hear me say that every good story starts with “There was this girl…” It’s true in a sense. All your good tales, all your great memories, all the times you want to remember are because of the people you did them with. That’s what makes the story good.
So, there was this girl…
Years ago, in a time mostly forgotten, yet somehow etched in my brain, I may – or may not – have met, and subsequently fallen in love with, “the one.”
She lives in San Diego, now.
She is not “the one.”
… or more appropriately, she is no longer “the one.”
Time Changes People
That nagging feeling that I should go to San Diego was cemented only a few minutes after the invite from Kristyn to crash on her couch when “the one” sent me a message asking how I’m doing.
I’m uncertain whether she decided to reach out from sheer coincidence or whether she somehow knew I was only a few hours from her. We’re not friends. We don’t chat. Every once in a while, we’ll exchange texts… but it had been a pretty long while.
It wouldn’t surprise me if she “just knew.” Some people you’ll never stop being attached to.
I actually wondered whether meeting was a good idea. In the past, this would have thrown me way off track. If you haven’t figured out, yet, she left me, back then. She was the one that got away. I truly, with every bit of who I am, believe she is the love of my life. And I’ve spent the past few years looking for “her” again in everyone I meet.
But, life changes, doesn’t it?
As she walked up to the coffee shop, I was immediately reminded why I loved her. Bright eyes, beautiful smile, warm inviting hug ‘hello.’ It was like fours years never happened.
As we sat chatting, I began to realize it was like four years never happened… to her. I spent an uncomfortable half hour or so just kind of staring at someone I used to know. She looked just as she always did, spoke the same way she always did, about the same things she always did. Only this time, we just weren’t on the same page.
Where once I would have given anything to spend every second with her, we struggled to share a cup of coffee.
You know that thing – that thing you’ve always wanted? That thing you’ve worked so hard to reach? It’s OK to not want that thing anymore. And you don’t owe anyone – even yourself – an explanation.
People change.
You are a people. You change.
Time Changes Everything
The illustration of lost love is something everyone can understand. For the vast majority of us, we have moved past that and found a new love.
This happens in your business, too. You get caught up with that “perfect” client. That one that keeps giving you work and keeps paying you consistently and it’s a perfect situation.
Eventually, this perfect situation changes. Eventually, something will change on their end or yours. Eventually, you will want a larger rate. Or you will want more creativity. Or you will want to do some different work. That’s OK, too.
It’s OK to let go of a client when your relationship is no longer mutually beneficial. This “perfect” client – like our lover scenario – is simply no longer perfect for you.
You’re not being ungrateful. You don’t need to panic. You’re just getting the room to grow.
You didn’t choose this entrepreneur thing to be held back, did you? Give yourself the space to get where you need to go this time. You’ll find the next perfect client.
I’ll never forget this: About a year into doing web design, I had this particular client. They owned a couple businesses with a website for each. They loved what I did and when they opened a new business, they asked me to build the site. When they started doing catering, they asked me to do the site. I had maintenance on all the sites, so there was monthly income coming in – actually about 20% of my income. They were talking about opening another business. It was great!
I sent them the renewal for the monthly maintenance and when I got their response, my heart sunk.
“We’re going to go with another company.”
They were a great client! Except, a couple months later, one of their staff reached out to me for help – that I couldn’t help with because the new company had changed things.
…and I realized: they were good, consistent work… but not really the work I wanted to be doing.
Everyone won in the end.
The Winds Know
We left the coffee shop and I watched her walk away. It always hurt to watch her walk away not knowing when I’d see her again. But, this time was different. I felt like I was watching the past move out of my way.
I got back to Kristyn’s with enough time to chat for a few minutes before saying good-bye. In stark contrast, Kristyn’s world is interesting, resonates with where I am, and I look forward to the next time we can share a few stories. She is one in a long line of amazing people that this me resonates with, enjoys, and is ever so grateful for.
I’m grateful for the time I spent with Kristyn, the couch to sleep on, and the wind for pulling me back to San Diego.
Letting go of clutter that no longer helps you thrive is essential to your personal life and your business.
Still reeling over that “perfect” client you lost? It wasn’t perfect. You’ll find perfect.
As the sun sets, I make my way North, completely at peace… for the first time.
