We tend to think of home as a physical place, but it’s more than that. I’d argue, actually, that the physical location doesn’t really matter.
Home is hitting the gym with Chad.
Home is a brew day with Keith.
Drinks in Conshy with Heather.
Wings at the Railroad with Neida.
Maryann, Dean, and Kelly in class.
Home is pho’ with R. It’s holidays with family.
I always figured I’d get home for the Christmas holiday. If I’m not done my journey, then I’ll leave home again.
Away From Home
It turns out, I got home in August.
A long, late drive ended with meeting a near stranger in the Mission, San Francisco. She had the key to place I’d stay.
As I opened the door, the familiar string of lights illuminated a familiar little guy on the far ledge.
He welcomed me Home.
A short walk down the familiar corridor lead to the familiar kitchen and familiar spiral stairs. I put my bag down on floor and sat on the couch. I remembered sleeping on this couch last year… or was it the year before? I remember rolling the rug up with Lesley and trying to fit it in the car for David’s birthday party last year.
…and I drifted off to sleep.
In the morning, I slipped down to the coffee shop a few blocks away, remembering they don’t serve 16oz, so I settle for the 12oz. I moved a few blocks further to grab fresh-sqeezed OJ, some berries, and avocados.
Back at the house, I make breakfast, and sit down at the table in the garden, notice the wifi connects again, and get to work.
And So On
For the next eight days, there was a routine. There was familiarity and stability.
That is home.
On the road, you can’t really just go home.
So, home becomes the familiar. Home is where you at least kinda know what’s going on. Home is where you have a handful of good memories and know good people are around.
It doesn’t have to be the address on your driver’s license… and for a time, it can’t be.
A Journey’s Home
At the start of this, we discussed the notion of the tribal vision quest being about figuring out yourself and your place in the world. Only then, returning “home” to be a productive member of your tribe.
But, questing is hard work, and sometimes you just need a break. Sometimes, you find a cave in the mountain where you can just look upon the land. You can settle there for a bit – knowing you’ll need to move on, but allowing yourself the rest.
We want to “find ourselves.” We want to “live our life to the fullest.” We want to “live a life worth living!” But, none of that is any good if we’re exhausted from running. Taking a break to find a little bit of stability – a little bit of home – isn’t quitting. It will give the energy you need to keep going.
It’s pertinent to note here, with the days filled with peace, I often drifted back to the question of what to do after training in LA. I’ll be close to San Diego… but there’s no point in going.
