A few days before my last trip, I got a message that my Digital Nomad domain was expiring and it was time to renew.
As with all my domains, I take a few minutes to reflect on whether I really want to keep it before clicking the renew button.
Maybe you’ve already noticed the domain name on this post is a sub-domain of another website.
I chose NOT to renew it.
Why?
It’s simple:
I failed at being a digital nomad.
Totally and completely, I failed.
The dream I had eight years ago never came to fruition.
Digital Nomad Failure
There’s really three reasons I’m letting the domain go – which is really just a symbol of a shift in my life.
I was never a nomad.
Not digital or otherwise. I never went from place to place on whatever whim I had. I always kept my house as a base to return to. I’m a traveler, but not a nomad.
In the eight years I’ve been out of a traditional job, I’ve traveled a lot. I’ve driven across and around the US multiple times. I’ve traveled in Southeast Asia, Indonesia, Canada, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, and Mexico four times. I’ve flown to conferences around the US and done extensive training nowhere close to home. I’ve lived for extended stays in multiple domestic and foreign locations that feel like home… and I’m welcomed there like it is.
Is this great? H*ll yes! Is it being a nomad? Nope.
I traveled and returned home. Every time, I had a home to return to.
Being a Digital Nomad kind of sucks.
Look, it makes a super-fun story to sit in a bier garten in some exotic location, drinking great to mediocre beers, and be able to say “I made enough money sitting here to cover this whole trip.”
But, it ruins the trip.
In the eight years I’ve had a mobile business, I’ve never had a vacation. I’ve had much lower expectations due to some great partners, but the only time I was “off” was the silent meditation retreat (where it luckily coincided with a lull in business AND one of my client’s businesses was offline for three days).
Over my “digital traveler” run, the mechanics of business on the road became less and less desirable. In fact, the last trip was shadowed by a massive amount of stress and frustration.
In hind-site, your own business is just the same as any other job: it depends who you work with.
Work with good people. Don’t work for your clients’ money. Develop a relationship and work together.
I don’t actually want to be a Digital Nomad
I love traveling and seeing different things. I love building something and seeing it operate as planned. The travel and the work were great.
Great, but not fulfilling.
Connecting and building community are what really fulfills me. Being in-person, on the ground, at the door is who I am. In order to truly be a digital nomad, I would have to give up the consistent in-person work. Wandering from place to place means transient time-sensitive relationships. Even in the wonderful world of the Internet, not being together lessens the connection.
Sharing physical space for mutual growth of self and happiness is my truest fulfillment.
You can’t do that on-the-road.
For those who remember, the Instagram postures each day while I was traveling were fun. They were a great way to keep a memory, but without the knowledge that we would share those teachings again, they were only pictures.
Failure is an interesting word
I stand by it, though. I believe I failed. I did so because of something I didn’t do… and something I did do.
Failure of definition
I failed because I never defined success. I wanted to be a professional writer. I wanted to be a digital nomad. I am none of those.
So, the dream didn’t happen. And thus, I failed.
Now… if I would have defined success by an amount of time traveling, the amount of freedom I had, or even the number of days not in an office, I would easily be able to say I’m successful. In that way, I would have had a metric to base my decisions on.
It’s interesting moreover to look at two other things:
- I didn’t really pre-think what a digital nomad was. It just sounded romantic. Social media just said it was cool.
- I wrote a book that people bought. I got paid to write a monthly column. I was published on a really popular website. Actually, I AM a professional writer. Well… for bits and spurts I was.
Failing to define success is in itself a failure.
Failure of action
If you look back at the reasons why I dropped the domain and am ultimately changing my life, you’ll see something interesting. It’s all hind-sight.
I only know I failed because of the lessons I learned while trying. Failure isn’t a curse word here. It’s literally a lesson. If you want to truly fail, don’t ever try.
I Quit! Again…
It’s funny that I wrote a book years ago about quitting. Here I am in the exact same situation: trading hours for dollars.
On one hand, money helps you live the life you want. But, the caveat is this: It’s not just about making money. It’s about making money in a way that makes you feel good.
Dreading checking your email.
Procrastinating because you hate the work.
Burning brain cycles on whether or not to quit.
All these things add to a poor experience. Some people like the challenge you’re dreading. Some people like the work. Some people definitely want to do it.
Let them.
…and move on to fulfilling work.
Or at least something that doesn’t make you feel bad.
The next iteration will be much closer to “the dream” than this one.
For me, the failed digital nomad is exponentially closer to my dream than the office dweller ever was.
